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How our schools have failed us:

Writer's picture: Ray GutoskiRay Gutoski

Updated: Dec 13, 2024

The lack of any significant happiness, motivation and empowerment training in all our years in school



The lack of any significant happiness, motivation and empowerment training in all our years in school


We spend a lot of time in school- statistically about 18-21 percent of our lives. But throughout our entire school experience in the vast majority of schools the education we get focuses almost solely on academics and career skills.


While academic subjects and career skills are very important of course the schools have not really taught us the principles, beliefs, attitudes and actions that we need to know to become our best and happiest selves and create our best and happiest lives in every area of our lives throughout our lives. The reality is that while academics are important these are things that are actually more important in terms of our happiness and well being and true success in life. In this sense our schools have really failed us.


Teaching empowering  beliefs


For one thing our experience in most schools in the school system does not focus on identifying and changing self limiting core beliefs about ourselves, others and "how the world works" that students may have picked up in early childhood. In fact it can actually accentuate negative self beliefs in different areas of our lives that affect our self image, self confidence, performance and happiness in school, in work, in goal setting, in relationships and in the other essential areas of our lives, something I will treat below. This is true in essential core areas of life even if students are successful academic learners.


Focusing on uniqueness


The reality is that each individual has certain core "signature" character strengths that are unique to them. These are the unique strengths that they look forward to using and enjoy using the most as unique individuals. One essential area that the schools need to focus on is enabling each student to recognize their unique "signature" character strengths and enable them to use and develop them.


For some students this is love of knowledge These are students who usually become really good in school. On the other hand there are students whose unique character strengths are not love of knowledge but could be one or more of many different unique strengths which I will treat below.


Because the schools primarilly focus and evaluate students mainly on academics, students who do not have academic learning as their unique core character strength can feel somehow inferior or "less than" because they do not enjoy school and that they do not have any real potential or "genius" inside of them. This can effect their entire lives.


Albert Einstein, the great scientist recognized this when he said "Each of us is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree it will spend its entire life believing it is stupid."


This does not negate the need to teach students the need to work hard in school even if they do not really enjoy it. Students need to realize both why academic learning is important and also that the self discipline they develop by working hard in school will lay a foundation for their being able to become really good at whatever they really want to do in life that corresponds with their own unique core character strengths.


The VIA Character Strengths Survey, a well-established tool in positive psychology, categorizes these strengths into 24 distinct areas. Recognizing and setting goals aligned with these strengths allows individuals to develop authentic confidence, self-worth, and purpose.


While we all have some strengths in all of these areas we each have one, two or more areas that are our unique "signature" character strengths...the ones we really enjoy using and becoming good at.


The 24 character strengths identified by the VIA Survey are as follows:


  1. Creativity – Originality and finding new ways to do things

  2. Curiosity – Interest and openness to new experiences

  3. Judgment – Thinking things through and examining them from all sides

  4. Love of Learning – Mastering new skills and knowledge

  5. Perspective – Seeing the big picture and giving wise advice

  6. Bravery – Not shrinking from challenges or risks

  7. Perseverance – Finishing what one starts; resilience

  8. Honesty – Authenticity and sincerity

  9. Zest – Approaching life with excitement and energy

  10. Love – Valuing close relationships with others

  11. Kindness – Generosity and compassion

  12. Social Intelligence – Being aware of others' emotions and motivations

  13. Teamwork – Loyalty and working well with others

  14. Fairness – Treating all people equally

  15. Leadership – Organizing and encouraging a group to meet goals

  16. Forgiveness – Letting go of hurt and resentment

  17. Humility – Being modest and letting accomplishments speak for themselves

  18. Prudence – Being careful about one's choices; caution

  19. Self-Regulation – Managing one's emotions and behaviors

  20. Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence – Noticing and appreciating beauty or skill

  21. Gratitude – Being thankful for what one has

  22. Hope – Expecting the best and working to achieve it

  23. Humor – Liking to laugh and bring smiles to others

  24. Spirituality – Having beliefs about a higher purpose and meaning in life


Each of these strengths represents a unique aspect of a person’s character and holds potential for personal fulfillment and contribution to society. For example, students whose primary strength is creativity would likely thrive in environments that allow them to innovate, design, and think outside the box. In contrast, those with a strength in leadership might find the greatest satisfaction in roles where they can organize, motivate, and inspire others.


When students are aware of their unique strengths, they can set goals that enable them to use and improve these strengths in meaningful ways. This approach encourages a more personalized learning journey, helping students feel empowered to achieve goals aligned with who they truly are. Instead of feeling "less than" due to struggles with traditional academics, students can see themselves as uniquely talented individuals with valuable strengths they can cultivate.


This is one area of increasing happiness and well being that the schools can focus on as part of the core ongoing curriculum but there are many other things that need to be included in the core curriculum.:


Additional areas the schools need to focus on


-increasing confidence and self worth

-Increasing positive emotions and optimism

-increasing relationship skills and social/emotional intelligence

-developing a sense of respect for life and human dignity and equality

-increasing core character strengths like courage, confidence, common sense, resiliency, empathy, compassion, honesty, integrity and service etc.

-learning financial literacy and wealth building skills

-teaching the power of engaging in acts of kindness

-stressing the need for community service and global citizenship

-teaching the practice of self compassion

-focusing on developing role models in history and in the present and emulating the strengths these people have developed

-and more.


Because most of us have not really been taught these things in the schools we have had to figure out how to become as happy as we can in life mostly on our own. Some people have done a better job at this than others. But even these people often are not realizing their full potential. As a result the happiness level in America has been declining for decades and is continuing to decline.


The great thing however is that at any age wherever we are now anyone can learn to significantly increase the happiness and well being they experience by being daily happiness, motivation and empowerment learners a little each day. Teaching you how to do that is what this program is about.


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